My freshman year at Brigham Young University (BYU) I lived in freshman housing called Wyview Apartments. My roommates and I were delighted one day to get our mail and find applications to a Mr. Wyview competition. A week later, my roommate Seth and I were pretty happy to find out that we were chosen to compete. We had to prepare a pickup line, learn a dance, and be ready to perform a talent. Seth and I decided to do our talent together. The best thing we could think of was to rap “Hiphopopotamus” by Flight of the Conchords, with a few parts edited of course. Seth and I already had most of it memorized, which made it easier to do our own choreography.
We borrowed some clothes from our buddy Brady that were suitable for our performance. Seth is in the gold jacket and shades and I am in the North Carolina jersey with the du-rag.
We were the crowd favorite…
…until Aaron from Scotland played the bagpipes in a kilt and stole all the votes from the ladies. I ended up taking second place to the Scottish Aaron in a kilt. The kilt was unfair. Once he wore the kilt, he was basically cheating. Nobody stood a chance against that plaid skirt and whiny bagpipe music–not to mention his accent. What I’m trying to say is I should have won. I mean, Seth and I should have won.
All of the Mr. Wyview contestants got a shirt for participating. I still wear it these days and it boosts my self esteem because the back says, “1300 residents, only 1 Mr. Wyview.” When people read it they assume that I won the competition, but don’t worry, I always explain to them that I got second place to a Scottish man in a kilt and they completely understand.
In case you were wondering, my pickup line was, “So…I see you’re a girl.” I used that one courtesy of Laren, my other freshman roommate.